..had a girlfriend. Wild about one another but never even tried to have sex. A guy seduced me, fucked me and suddenly I thought 'this is who I am!' I ...ad an unusual interest in transvestites and transsexuals, reading every book going but I was in denial and just saw myself as a passive gay guy. I totally repressed any inclination to wear female clothing. I got into the leather scene as a gay man. But always submissive. Submission became my focus. I endured a lot of sessions I really didn't. It was always harder to erase sign than to create a trail. During that process, I thought about what I wanted to accomplish. I didn’t want to hurt these yahoos any more than I already had. But I also didn’t want them to get any closer to the ladies. So, my main goal was to lay false trails and lead them off into the wilderness, preferably in the opposite direction. The farther, the better. If things got worse, well then, I would dial it up and get serious. What I wanted to do was to get them so. More

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